My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Randomize
