Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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