Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
