I want to walk on stilts...naked
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
