Im at strip club and am horny
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
