there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
