Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
