We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
