yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Randomize
