is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
