You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
