My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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