I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
