Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
