is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize