I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
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