we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize