So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize