I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize