What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Randomize
