Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
