there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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