she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Randomize
