i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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