you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Why is there bacon in the couch?
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
