I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
