I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
