guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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