im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
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