So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
