Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
