This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
