i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
