i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
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