I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Betty ford says i'm here all night
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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