Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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