All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
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