I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Randomize
