its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
My dick has a subreddit
I wear drunk well.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
