sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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