dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
