so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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