There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
The uberlube is also flammable
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
