Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I lost the right to judge tonight
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
