i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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