i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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