hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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