Kiss
Puke
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
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