I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I pour the whiskey from now on
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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