left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
