did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
