We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Idk if I want to put a bra on
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
