he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
It was confusing and full of hummus
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Randomize
