I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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