Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
