Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
