we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
