a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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