Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
There are leaves in my underwear?
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