how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
