is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
